Random Laughs

This is an extract from Richard Benson's Blackboard Blunders book, where the author could not resist compiling all the homework howlers of today's students. Enjoy

1) On school reports: My teacher said I was very epidemically bright. I was prowed!

2) On art classes: Today I painted an octopuss with big eyes and eight purple testicles.

3) In his own story: Time seemed to be standing still. Nothing was happening and I was getting scarred. I looked again at my cock. It hadn't moved since I last looked at it.

4) On the choir: In last year's Christmas concert, Linzie played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.

5) On Geography: In Scandinavia , the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norweigans come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.

6) On charity work: I feel sorry for the people in Africa. They are staring to death. They only get a little groin to eat. I wouldn't like to eat groin.

7) On maths: The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his Sleigh.

8) On automobiles: Helicopters are cleverer than planes . Not only can they fly through the air, they can also hoover.

9) On history: Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.

10) On the 1930s: If you had no money in the 1930s, you could get some by going to a porn shop. The man at the porn shop had three balls hanging over his entrance.

11) On World War Two: Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them ostridges until the war is over.Some prisoners end up in consterpation camps.

12) On ancient history:In a field near my house, they think they have found the remains of a roman fart.

13) On the holidays: When it gets near Christmas, I get choclat penis. I get one every morning.

14) A prayer: Dear God, My wish is that there would be pis all over the world. Make the wars end and let people live in pis all their lives.

15) On illness: I went to see the doctor because I have awful crap. I woke up with crap all down my leg yesterday and I cuddent put my foot down.

16.) On hobbies: My hobby is insest. I learnt about all kinds of insest from a book I bort at a bring and buy sale. I speshly like aunts.

17.) On nuclear anxiety: My dad talked about weapons of mass destruction while eating dinner. I'm worried about this. I don't want to get bumbed.

18) What she did at the weekend: This wikend we went shopping. I got some new shoes and mummy got a new pair of tits.

19) When I grow up: I would like to have lots of babys when I am a grown-up. My mummy says I need to wait until I'm older but Tina across the raod has lots of babys and she isn't grown up. She also has lots of husbends.

20) Bedtime: It is verry noisy for me at night because we live above a pube.

Makes you feel kind of smart and high placed after reading this huh?

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