Your Random Repo

This is an extract from Richard Benson's Blackboard Blunders book, where the author could not resist compiling all the homework howlers of today's students. Enjoy 1) On school reports: My teacher said I was very epidemically bright. I was prowed! 2) On art classes: Today I painted an octopuss with big eyes and eight purple testicles. 3) In his own story: Time seemed to be standing still. Nothing was happening and I was getting scarred. I looked again at my cock. It hadn't moved since I last looked at it. 4) On the choir: In last year's Christmas concert, Linzie played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year. 5 ) On Geography: In Scandinavia , the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norweigans come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland . 6) On charity work: I feel sorry for the people in Africa. They are staring to death. They only get a little groin to eat. I wouldn't like to eat groin. 7)...

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream, and not make dreams your master; If you can think, and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stop and build 'em up with wornout tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long ...

Went to Amanda's house for dinner on wednesday night. Apparently she wanted to celebrate her removal of her wisdom tooth so she decided to cook for all of us. Failed to spam her food but we did take some shots of the liquor that was available that night. I managed to refrain myself from getting too carried away because i had classes the next day. I did however took a shot of this Jameson Whiskey and i must say its pretty good. Too bad there wasnt enough for everyone. This is a bottle of pear flavoured Absolut Vodka. It was unopened because nobody seemed to dig vodka. Noob photographer. This is a bottle of some Russian Vodka. It was already opened and i guess some of them drank a bit of this. One guy got quite knocked out because i mixed a bit of this vodka into his bacardi which i'll show in the next picture. He did manage to get home safely though. Again noob photographer. This is a bottle of bacardi oro. Its a type of rum i think. The girls opened it and mixed it with pineapp...

Here are a list of interesting records that i doubt very few of you out there would wanna try and have a go at it. Enjoy Sick WORLD RECORDS MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. ZIT POPPING In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1 inch. WORST DRINK The most horrible drink to be considered abeverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac. MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL This is available from a few select ba...

Recently my friend gave me a link to a politician's website. I couldn't help but read then get hooked and curse every swear word i know at the same time. IMO i think all politicians are either full of shit or a hypocrite or both. So ive decided i would dedicate this post to all the politicians in Malaysia. Congrats on making complete fools out of yourselves. Here goes.. T here are two squashed corpses on the North-South highway. One is a dead dog, the other is a dead politician. What's the difference? There are skid marks before the dog. H illary Clinton was out jogging one morning. As she passed a small boy she saw that he had a box full of puppies. She stopped and asked the little boy what kind of puppies he had. He looked up proudly and said, 'They're all Democrats.' Hillary was pleased as she just jogged away. She returned home and told her husband the story. About a week later Bill was jogging by a young man with a box full of puppies. He stopped and asked ...

A young Chinese student was travelling in a train compartment with a ferocious soldier, an old lady an a stunningly attractive young lady. The train went through a tunnel. In the darkness they heard a kiss followed by a resounding smack. When they came out of the tunnel the soldier was rubbing a very swollen face, and they each contemplated what must have just happened... The old lady thought, 'What a proper young lady that is to chastise the soldier for his unwelcomed advances.' The young lady thought, 'Why would the soldier want to kiss the old lady instead of an attractive person like me?' The soldier thought, 'That student is a lucky asshole. He gets to kiss the young lady and i get the smack.' But the student knew all along, 'I'm a cunning fellow. I kiss the back of my hand, give the soldier one tight slap and get away with it' An American oil-drilling company was erecting a new offshore platform in total isolation. Their industrial psychologist...